Strength

I have a confession. I don't like being alone, but I find it hard at times to put myself out there to make friends and have adventures on my own. Sometimes I wonder, "What was I thinking?! I miss my friends!" What's the point of having an adventure if you have no one to share it with?

Truth is, I "ran away" to the beach. After a painful split with a man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with, I needed a place to begin anew; to pick up the pieces of my broken heart and shattered life and start over. So I left my dreams, my wedding dress, my home, and friends behind and ran into the ocean and let salty water mix with my salty tears. Yes, I cried in the bitter cold waves until I couldn't cry anymore.

I was thinking about that this morning, throwing myself a bit of a pity party actually. Thats when I realized something, I may be braver than I thought. I'm not trying to "toot my own horn" or what have you, I was just giving myself a bit of a pep talk.

Starting over is never easy, and moving forward takes strength, and while in the process of moving forward, somethings get left behind, or let go of, the process is taxing and at moments we may question if we have the strength to take that next step but, perhaps strength doesn't reside in having never been broken..but in the courage required to grow strong in the broken places.

You know before this process, I've never dined alone at a restaurant, never walked the beach alone, never gone on a day trip alone, never been to a concert alone. Since moving here, I've done all those things! I don't regret a single moment I've spent enjoying being alone.

Today, I'm going to the Chesapeake Jubilee, by myself, because I love carnivals. I chose Virginia Beach because there is always something to do, because its the beach, and because I believed, even if for a moment that I could do it alone, so until I have someone to share in my adventures with again, I'll do it on my own.

xoxo,

Beauty at the Beach