Vampire Seeks Minnesota Governor's Job

[chrish]

(Minnesota, Reuters) - Minnesota voters, who eight years ago elected a former professional wrestler as their governor, may find a self-proclaimed vampire on the ballot for the office this year. "Politics is a cutthroat business," said Jonathan "The Impaler" Sharkey, who said he plans to announce his bid for governor on the ticket of the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party. Like Jesse "The Body" Ventura, who was elected governor as an independent in 1998, the 41-year-old Sharkey once was a wrestler, although he spent his time "The Unholiest of Kings: Tarantula" on obscure professional circuits. "I'm a Satanist who doesn't hate Jesus," Sharkey told Reuters. "I just hate God the Father." However, he claims to respect all religions and if elected, will post "everything from the Ten Commandments to the Wicca Reed" in government buildings. Sharkey also pledged to execute convicted murders and child molesters personally by impaling them on a wooden pole outside the state capitol. Sharkey told the Minneapolis Star Tribune that he's a vampire "just like you see in the movies and TV." "I sink my fangs into the neck of my donor and drink their blood," he said, adding that his donor is his wife, Julie.

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Gotta admit. I like his death penalty policy.

[Haul Asp]

If he ran against Hillary, I wonder who would win.

[chrish]

Be a tough call. After all, they'd split the blood sucking vote.