Calling Dr. Haul

[Haul Asp]

I think I need to move. I was outside earlier washing the cars, when suddenly this kid walks up my driveway and asks if he can use my phone. So I ask him who he is, and he says he's my neighbor. I ask him why he needs to use my phone, and then he told me he felt really sick and wanted to call his parents. So I let him in and he uses the restroom. He was in there for a long time, so I started to get a little concerned. I mean I don't want someone else's kid croaking in my bathroom.

He finally comes out and tells me that he's been throwing up and has diarrhea, and that he feels very weak. His mother is out and he's not sure if his sister is home because she's not answering the door. So I let him use the phone and he gets his sister up from off the couch and she lets him in.

Then he comes back out and over my house and says that he has no medicine in the house. I'm like WTF, don't your parents have any sports drinks or anti-diarrhea stuff? The kid looked pretty bad (he had even asked another neighbor for a ride home because he felt so bad). I don't have any of that stuff at my place, since I rarely get sick. He asked if I had any Immodium, but I didn't. So I ran up to the corner store to get some Gatorade and Immodium.

I should have let him be sick. He came outside later feeling much better and would not shut up about the Viper. When he started talking about adding neon lighting to it, I bolted inside.

Where are the parents of these kids anyway, and why did he come to me? Like I know what to do. Who do I look like, Doctor Haul? Not to mention the liability if the kid got sick from the medication.

I need to move now.

[chrish]

Dear Dr. Haul,

I have this really juicy pimple on my ass that I can't reach. Would you please squeeze it for me?

[chrish]

Originally Posted by Haul Asp

I should have let him be sick. He came outside later feeling much better and would not shut up about the Viper. When he started talking about adding neon lighting to it, I bolted inside.

At that point, I'd start hitting the Immodium and Gatorade...

[chrish]

...and one final thought....


If I'm ever in Houston and need a place to take a dump...

[battlebot]

adding neon lighting to it

Um...no. Pretty much that only happens with Civics and Mexican owned cars.


Should have let him be sick. It's better to be sick which builds the immune system than to be a puss and drug up. I would recommend clorox spray cleaner for getting rid of that diareah/vomit. Then spray the bathroom senseless with air freshener.

[Haul Asp]

No joke. I had to sanitize the BR with lysol and Oust.

[Haul Asp]

Originally Posted by chrish

Dear Dr. Haul,

I have this really juicy pimple on my ass that I can't reach. Would you please squeeze it for me?

Dear Reader,

It's probably a brain tumor. Have it lanced limmediately.

-Dr. Haul

[chrish]

Who is Lance?